Sunday
by Shimegami-chan
Summary: One-shot. With Son Goku's death comes an avalanche of regrets, particularly in Goku's oldest and dearest friend.


Honestly, I would _love_ to finish _Tomodachi_ or _Both Sides_ right now, but my Internet connection is down and I can't reread what I've got done so far. And I can't start _Sibling Swap_ until I'm done at least one of those. So please, be patient; and I'll post a rash of one-shots when the connection's back to keep y'all busy awhile. :)   
  
Disclaimer: Dragonball/Z/GT is not mine. It's late and I'm tired, insert disclaimer here please.   
  
**Sunday  
_by Shimegami-chan  
_ http://www.shimegami.com/ichijouji  
**  
  


It's funny how time flies when you're having fun. 

It's a luxury we never appreciated, I guess. I wish we had. Between all the times we've been separated, you'd think we'd have learned by now that the precious moments when we did see each other weren't to be wasted! 

_Bathing in distant light by the banks of the river far and wide  
Children's laughter is gentle on the heart_

We had an understanding, you and I. It was as though we were one person sometimes, sharing each others' thoughts, our hearts beating as one. Time and again we were pulled apart; by training and obligations and Death, and yet it was never permanent, never real. 

Never as real as it seems to me right now. 

_Like a whiff of wind I feel the joy of living as I gaze up the sky  
No need for the past and the future on a Sunday noon_

Right here, right now, it hurts the most. When I imagine your last moments with us, your smile--wistful and apologetic at the same time. We'd been through this before, this Death, and always escaped unscathed. Why now, when your family and friends needed you most, would you choose not to return? 

I try to forget, but it's impossible. 

_Precious things forgotten slowly revived  
The verdant winds blow past warmly surrounding me  
It isn't a special day but for some reason  
I want to meet you_

I wonder, sometimes, what went through your head as you said your good-byes. I'll remember Gohan's tears for the rest of my days; Piccolo's grim face, my own anguished screams in the middle of the night. No matter how many times Death had intervened in our lives, it never struck me so hard as then. 

_There are little joys so near I don't notice them  
I'm just clumsy but they're the stars borne of us_

My life is by no means void, now...I am happy, I am content. I have a baby on the way, a small, loving household, and the fighting is over. The war is done with. 

Once upon a time fighting was my mantra, my art, my life. Now, it seems a relief to let that peice of me go, as well as a peice of you. You saved us all once again. But at what cost? 

I'd rather fight for my life every day for eternity than sacrifice yours. 

_Full of vigor I live the days  
It isn't that I've got some big dream_

Death may be permanent, but life goes on...isn't that the truth? 

Maybe, on this lazy Sunday, I should be doing something other than shedding tears for you. I shouldn't cry. Did you cry for me on that lonely night when we were young, when I died alone? I'd like to think you did, but you were always stronger than me. 

Goku...I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you. It should have been me who died; I was the weaker one, I was the coward. I'm sorry that I didn't see you as much as I should have. We drifted apart. 

I'm getting married tomorrow, Goku; and there's a shadow where my best man should be. I'd never find anyone else to fill this place that should be reserved for my closest friend. 

_But I'm excited for tomorrow  
Let's face it now Till sunset  
I want to meet you_

I think you'd be proud of me, living my dream, even though I know she can never fill the space that's been left in my heart by the loss of my best friend. I know that in time the pain will fade; but now when I'm alone, I'm overtaken by this feeling of dread. To think that I might never see you again is the hardest battle I've had to fight. 

Piccolo...Nappa and Vegeta...Freeza...the Androids...and finally, Cell...throughout these trials you've been standing by my side, or waiting in the wings to save the day. And now I face my most difficult task--settling down, having a family, and returning to the life Earthlings deem 'normal,' without your support and your smiles. 

And yet I must gather my wits, like you always encouraged, and walk forward. Goku, it's so hard; I don't know what to do. I regret...that I couldn't be there, supporting you, when the final moment came. I want to know how you felt. Did you regret, as I do now? Were you frightened? Sad? Or hopeful that you were doing what was best for us all? 

I guess I'll never know. 

The only thing left for me is to step forward down this twisted road, and hope that Destiny will one day overtake me, and we'll meet on the Other Side. Tomorrow, when Juuhachigou and I walk down the aisle, I can imagine that you're standing beside me, cheering me on. We'll see each other again someday. I can feel it. 

Good-bye, my friend. 

Until we meet again. 

-Kuririn. 

  
  
  
  
  
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Shi-chan: This has been sitting half-done on my hard drive for oh-so-long. ^^;; The inset song is _Nichiyoubi,_ from Dragonball GT. 


End file.
